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Dear Aunties M, S ,Ro, Ru Your old friend Bert here. How have you all been doing? Say hi to and pet your fur kids for me. But enough of the small talk. I'm writing to tell you about my latest Airedale Adventure. It happened last Thursday around dinner time. Mom and Dad had gone out for Mexican food, as they usually do every Thursday and left me home alone (as usual). Of course Mom fed me before they left so I wasn't exactly starving or anything like that. As she left, Mom told me to guard the house. No problemo. Well, I was making my rounds checking every room for nefarious personages who might be perpetrating a crime. Of course my rounds included the kitchen. There were no miscreants on the floor so I thought I best check the counter tops. Again, no perps up there but lo and behold there was a half a pan of brownies that Mom had baked the day before. Since Mom left me in charge I made a command decision on the spot and ate all the brownies. Did I say that brownies are my favorite? A short time later, they returned and I knew I was in trouble when I heard Dad say "A brownie and some ice cream would sure taste good about now". It was about this time that Mom spotted the licked-clean pan on the floor with a smattering of crumbs scattered about. She said, "I don't think so. At least not tonight". Meanwhile I was laying low in the bathtub. Dad proceeded to give me a good Dad to dog chat vividly outlining the details and reasons for my malfeasance. I sat there with that adoring look in my eyes. Of course I don't remember a single word that he said. All I could think about was that lump of brownies in my stomach. When I figured that he was done scolding me, I belched and ambled back to the bathtub. So what's the big deal? You have all probably heard about how chocolate is dangerous for your dogs. Well, I'm here to tell you that is just so much bull****. And since we are on the topic, did you know that brownies come out the same color as they went in? Yes, they do. Now it's Monday (Happy Labor Day, by the way) and Dad has pretty much gotten over his loss (my gain). He no longer refers to me as that Brownie-thieving SOB. I'll have you know that I did NOT steal the brownies. I merely ate them. At least he was half correct. Today Mom gave me a bath and brushed me up so I'm real handsome. I was getting pretty funky, so yesterday I dropped a hint. We have this small cement pond in the yard for the tortoise to crawl through and the birds use to drink. I really haven't paid much attention to it until yesterday when I decided to walk through it. Of course when I stepped out onto the dirt yard my paws were instantly coated with mud like four furry Drumstick ice cream cones. Mom had to sit out on the porch with me until my feet dried and she could brush off the mud. Today we had a bath. Yessss. I can see by the old clock on the wall that it is getting to be time to start reminding Mom that it's time to eat. Oooh, she just walked into the kitchen. Gotta go. Bye. Love, Your friend, Bert
Copyright Bert Krause. Article and photograph published with permission of the author. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission of the author is prohibited. If you would like to reprint any of the articles, please contact the who will put you in touch with Bert's agent.
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