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Dear Aunties, Bert here. We had some excitement around here last night and I have to tell you about it. Well, it was just after 8PM and I had finished licking the two ice cream bowls. I was settling onto my dog futon for my pre-nighttime nap. Mom stood up and took the two very clean bowls into the kitchen. When she turned on the light she shrieked and started yelling "There's a snake in the kitchen". This got my attention, more than Dad's. Dad didn't believe her when Jake got sprayed by a skunk when they lived in Tempe some years ago. He thought urban skunks were an urban legend. After that ordeal you would think he would be a bit more open-minded. When Dad finally hauled his butt out of his chair to see what the commotion was about, I decided that someone in this pack had to take action, so I did. After all, I have had snake training. So I ran to the bedroom, jumped up on the water bed and tried to hide under Mom's pillow. Now, some dogs might have run into the kitchen to confront the alleged serpent face to face. Not me. I'm more of a "discretion is the greater part of valor" sort of guy. It wasn't so much that I was retreating from the peril; I was merely attacking in a different direction. Mom got a broom which Dad used to keep the varmint pinned down, and away from the refrigerator. She then got a Zip Loc plastic bowl which she inverted over the wiggling little guy. A sheet of typing paper slipped under the entire ensemble then inverted again, apply the snap on lid and the "anaconda" was contained. Oh, did I mention that it was a baby garter snake about six inches long and smaller around than a pencil? So, technically, Mom was correct in her assessment, but a bit overzealous in the execution of her alarm. Heck, she woke me from a sound sleep. Since I was already there, I decided to spend the rest of the evening safely ensconced on the water bed. You never know if that critter might have some siblings near by. That discretion thing again. Anyhow, that's what we did around here last night. I can hardly wait until tonight. I hope all of you are doing well. Pet your fur kids for me. I remain, Your friend, Bert
Copyright Bert Krause. Article and photograph published with permission of the author. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission of the author is prohibited. If you would like to reprint any of the articles, please contact the who will put you in touch with Bert's agent.
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