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Oh boy, today I go to my forever home. I can hardly wait. Aunty M has me all brushed up and even bought me a brand-new Hunter green collar and matching leash. I am one dapper Airedale. We pile into the van and hit the road. When we get to my new home my new Mom and Dad are waiting out front. They can't believe that my handsome self is the same shaggy hound they saw only two days before. I feel like the frog prince. We go inside the house and that's when I met HER. Her name is Gretchen and she's a matronly 11 year old Airedale who, I could tell, was the queen of the roost. I knew I would have my work cut out for me finding my niche in my new home. Like the time I merely walked past her whilst Mom and Dad were making their dinner. She jumped my case and let me know that I was persona non grata in HER space. After a couple more encounters like that, I figured it out and now everything's cool. Even though G thinks that she's perfect, let me tell ya, she's not. She has some strange habits, the strangest of which is taking a dump in the yard. She just can't bend over and do it, noooo; she has to walk around and spread it out like she's laying a minefield. I really have to be careful out there so I don't step in that nasty stuff. It's quite the challenge. On the other hand, I make nice tall piles that Dad said we could use as pylons for an airplane race. Easy to see, easy to clean up. Score one for the boy dog. I must admit that I came with some baggage too. I was always an outdoor dog so what did I know about housebreaking? Nothing actually. The first couple days were spent sneaking around the house, trying to make the furniture grow. That's when I got some good news and some bad news. The good news was that Mom's eyesight was getting better. The bad news was that she was discovering all my urinary indiscretions. Mom got very anal about this and would get up in the middle of the night and take me outside to whizz. OK with me. Well, one chilly morning Mom, G, and I had just returned to our nice warm beds when Dad decided to take me out. He shuffled down the hall mumbling something about the whole deal. Since I didn't have to go, I did the only thing that I could. Not one to let a good warm spot go to waste, I hopped up on the bed and crashed with my head on his pillow. I guess Dad made it as far as the kitchen when he realized that I wasn't with him and he returned just a might bit faster than he departed. When he found me in his spot he was not a happy camper. What could I do? I rolled onto my back so he could scratch my tummy and gave him my most pathetic look. He was not amused and tossed my butt out of bed. He didn't even thank me for keeping the bed warm. He could have used my dog futon; I would've let him. Be nice to your dog friends and be nice to each other. We're all in this together.
Bert
Copyright Bert Krause. Article and photograph published with permission of the author. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission of the author is prohibited. If you would like to reprint any of the articles, please contact the who will put you in touch with Bert's agent.
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